Our Not So Ordinary Courting Story

So as you all may know I am married to Khalid Snowden, that fine guy in the above picture with me! My rock, my best friend, my lover, my one and only, my everything! Ahh, I just love that man! We actually got married November 30, 2012, exactly 2 months ago, so happy two month anniversary to us!!Yay! I know there is going to be plenty of more time for us to grow together and spend the best time of our lives together. I am so excited to spend this journey in life with him and for us to grow old together. I will discuss in another post on how we met…

To begin I want to share a testimony of how God completely changed our lives. When we first got together we weren't saved in the least. It was our senior year of High school and then we both decided to move in together with roommates that we knew for our first 2 years of college. Mind you we were raging sinful teens when we first started to date and didn't do things God’s way at all. And let me just tell you this doing things your own way is NEVER a great option and it will always, always lead to destruction. It is NEVER OK to put your girlfriend or boyfriend before Christ. We submitted to the lust of the flesh and disregarded God’s law. And as the consequence of our sins this lead to many arguments and break ups to make ups. It was like there wasn't a day that went by that we wouldn't be going off on each other. And then when we did get saved at one point we were kind of up and down with that too, we were like those “sorta, kinda Christians.”

Finally there came a point to when the arguments ceased for a bit after a really big argument had escalated. We decided we should really start maturing if we really loved one another. We started loving God more than we loved each other and we wanted to begin taking our walk with God seriously. God convicted us that if we were going to profess to be Christians it was high time that we started acting as ones. God became number one in our lives and we really started to serve Him. We made the decision to stop dating and start courting. There is a difference between the two and I will also be making a post on that topic later as well.

When we started courting it took some getting used to at first, but God’s grace is truly sufficient. Through His grace we were able to break the power of the lust of the flesh. We were still room mating with friends at the time. It was a 3 bedroom apartment with four people. But being now committed to our relationship with Christ we started taking turns sleeping on the couch. We stopped kissing and even stopped holding hands. He wanted to wait until we were married to kiss because kisses are powerful and can lead to something more that you have no business doing until marriage. Read my article here concerning the The Power of a Kiss.

I saw a real change in my now husband. He inspired me and encouraged me to run after God with my full heart even more, as he still does to this very day. His love for God and his servitude for God truly amaze me.
And as a reward of being obedient to God and doing things His way we reaped the benefits. We learned how to talk things out if we disagreed with anything instead of arguing. We actually don’t argue anymore, and by argue I mean yelling at each other and disrespecting one another. We do have disagreements, but we talk them out with respect versus arguing. At first I thought this was impossible when my pastor would say to the church that her and her husband never argues. I thought “as if!” But after taking the psychical aspect out of the relationship we learned one another and we begin to know each other from spirit to spirit instead of flesh to flesh. We have to remember we are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but we are spirits in a human body having a human experience. If you can’t get to know a person from their spirit and it always requires something psychical then your love for them is conditional. You love the feeling and not the person because their spirit, which is who they really are, should be enough to satisfy you to the point of no fornication.

Us in our courting stage, notice the space between us, lol.
We did make the huge mistake of moving into a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom because we couldn't find any roommates that we could separately roommate with when our lease was finally up with our previous roommates. Our previous roommates decided to get their own places so that option was off the list. It was still a new city for us at the time, because we moved from our hometown to go to college. We didn't want a stranger because we didn't want to go through the nightmare of having a complete stranger who was an immature college kid. Granted, we regretted moving in together to the point that we became willing to move in with a perfect stranger even if they turned out to be psycho. We just wanted to please God and not allow what is good to be spoken evil of.

Even so we couldn't change the matter. We couldn't move back home with our parents since they lived so far away and we couldn't break the lease. We decided we were going to continue to keep our boundaries. We still wanted to live for God because that was our first heart's desire is to please Him. We made the mistake of moving in together, but we were still going to be accountable, and we weren't going to be having sex outside of marriage and sinning against God. We did tell our pastor about it, because we didn't want to hide something like that away from our leaders. Of course she didn't encourage it, but God confirmed to her that we were setting boundaries and not fornicating, she saw the love we had for God and our actions did match up with our words.
So how were we able to live together without fornication? We SET boundaries and we KEPT them!
1.       We always kept God First.
Before there is Khalid there is God, and before there is Shaniqua there is God. We love Him more than we love each other so in that way we respected and honored His ways before our own. His ways actually became a part of us because we loved Him so much.
2.       We slept separately in separate beds.
You can’t expect to fight off temptation but invite it into your bed.
3.       We did not walk around naked or in boxers.
My body was not officially his yet so in order for him to see the goodies, we had to be married first, flaunting off your stuff inevitably causes lust, point blank and we can't cause others to stumble. 
4.       We didn't kiss, hold hands or get intimate in any type of way.
We kept away all that would lead to temptation.

Of course there were people who talked about us and didn't believe we were keeping ourselves pure, but I learned to tune them out. As long as we were staying abstinent and God and my Pastor knew that we were, then we were holding ourselves responsible. Let’s get this clear, I am in NO WAY CONDONING for couples to live together before marriage. That does not please God. This is just my testimony and one that I hope can help others from making the same mistake, or if you are in a similar situation without any type of way to get out of it, that you can still put God first and remain abstinent before marriage. Whether you have backslidden or slipped up, it’s never too late to start living for God, God can grab you out of any mess and turn it into a beautiful message, but we have to at some point stop the backsliding and the back and forth and remain faithful to Him because the word says in John 14:15 If you love me, you will obey what I command.

While living together we learned the power of God's grace and how it can keep you. We didn't allow for there to be any temptations. We didn't allow for each other to kiss one another, or fondle one another. We were basically living as roommates. Of course I was excited for the day for us to marry, but I didn't let my mind wander to that far in time. I wasn't going to open the door for the enemy even one bit because my heart, mind, body and soul belonged to Jesus. If I claimed to love Him, I was going to obey Him like His Word says.

Courting removes all of the psychical and places it on what’s inside of the person; their thoughts, their ways, their future. And once Christ became a part of us I loved what was inside of my now husband even more. Words can’t even describe how much I love Him. I am so glad God came into our lives and turned everything new for His glory.

We kept off marriage for awhile because we were college kids dependent on financial aid, we weren't sure if the aid was going to get reduced or cut off if we got married so we originally set a date for 2013. Then we started discussing it with one another again and decided why wait? It wasn't because we were struggling, like I said the barriers we placed plus God’s grace helped us not to struggle with lusting after one another. We didn't want to wait anymore because our source came from God, not financial aid. And also God was taking us higher in Him and in ministry. We didn't advise such a thing for anyone to live with their boyfriends/girlfriends and we didn't want our good to be spoken evil of. Not to mention we didn't want to look like the world and do what the world does. Nowadays people think it's OK to move in before marriage, but that's not so. Besides we loved one another, was equally yoked and on the same page so marriage was just a natural thing for us to do.

God was so gracious to us while we lived together because He saw our dedication to serve Him. We weren't going to let our mistake steer us off the path of righteousness. We were going to obey God and do as He said by honoring His word.

When we got married everything felt like new. Our marriage day was the best and most joyful day of my life, besides the day I invited Jesus into my heart. We didn't put on a grand show for our wedding, that will come later, but everyday with him is already like a celebration. So here starts a new journey and as always God will be leading the way. And I know wherever God leads, my husband and I are headed in a good place to give Him the glory.

So honor God through everything you do and I can guarantee you that you’ll reap the great benefits He has for you if you obey Him. There is so much great things God has in store for my husband and I, and it all starts with obedience. Stay strong and be encouraged. You CAN do this!

Love and happiness, 


Throwback pic of us. My have we grown.

Being Saved in an Unsaved World

Looking at the state of the world I sometimes wonder will it ever change. The lack of passion for God that I see in people and them not wanting to do His will. All they want to do is their own thing, it can be pretty discouraging. I can sometimes start losing faith in my generation because all they talk about is relationships, sex and drugs. They don’t understand the dire consequences of sinning against God. They say “Oh well we all sin, it’s all good, God will forgive me.” Yeah um, keep using that same “excuse” and see where that leads you. It won’t be pretty on judgment day. And where do I get this from?

Hebrews 10:26-27  If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.

Matthew 7:23 But I will reply, 'I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God's laws.'

Proverbs 2:22 but the wicked will be cut off from the land, and the unfaithful will be torn from it.

Psalms 37:28 For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. They will be protected forever, but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off

There are so many other scriptures in the Bible that shows God’s seriousness of His HATE towards sin, yet people try to sweep it under the rug. You must be faithful when serving God and you must show that faithfulness towards Him through your love for Him and through your lifestyle. You can’t keep sinning willfully then give yourself the title of a Christian. God wants you to obey Him and really act like you are His offspring.

Thank God for His grace despite all of the chaos and evil doing going on in the world today it is still possible to be saved in an unsaved world. If I was able to escape the grasp of the enemy through God’s grace then anyone can do the same. But it won’t be with just a click of the heels then your set. It requires you to renew your mind daily and develop a love for God so much that all other things are considered a lost compared to Him. Jesus is good! And once you start meditating on His scripture and how good He really is it will bring you to a humble position to where nothing else matters and you will start desiring to serve Him with your whole heart.
So how to be saved in an unsaved world:

      1. Ask Jesus to come into your life and repent of your sins.
There is no other way around this one. The only way to God is through Jesus. This is the first step of salvation, but it requires sincerity. Tell Jesus you want to be saved and believe by faith that you are now His.

      2. Don’t just stop at step 1!
This step is also VERY important. Many people stop at step 1 and think its all dandy. But according to those scriptures God wants more from you. He wants your full heart. Just like you went all out for the devil and to serve Him when you were in the world God wants you to do same for Him, but MORE for His kingdom!

      3. Get rid of the old creature.
The lord says once we become saved all old things have passed away and we become new creatures in Him. This has not been a truer statement for my life. You have to get rid of some things and even some people. Yeah it might hurt them and even you, and yeah they might get offended, but if they are hindering you from your walk with God then they have to go. It’s better to lose an earthly friend than to lose your soul.

      4. Renew your mind
You have to start thinking like a child of the most high. The once evil thoughts you used to mediate on needs to be replaced with the Word of God. There is no way you will produce different results with the same mindset. So a man thinks in his heart so is He. There is so much power in our thoughts, but that will require another later post.

      5. Fear God and hate sin
These two pretty much come hand in hand. If we fear God, in the sense of respecting Him and His ways then we are going to automatically begin to hate what He hates and love what He loves. And if you hate something so much to the point to where it makes your stomach turn then you won’t do it. If you hate or dislike a certain food you don’t eat it right? We have to start seeing sin as a disgusting poison because that’s exactly what it is. And any poison even in moderation is still poison, don’t indulge in any of it!

Go deeper in God and start taking your salvation seriously. Examine if you are even in the faith because what a man considers the right way God might consider sin. Sex outside of marriage is sin, lying, stealing, and fornicating are sin. Living saved does require discipline, but God’s rewards are so much more fulfilling then any sin can ever be.

Stop making excuses, because those excuses won’t grant you permission into heaven. Those will be the same excuses sending you to hell. The enemy likes to toy with people’s minds and try to make them believe that having some of him and some of God is ok, but not so! God want’s your FULL obedience to Him only, being saved means willing to give up your ENTIRE life for the sake of Jesus.

There’s no way 3 or 4 years ago that I would have ever imagined myself being such a dedicated Christian who wants to spread the Word and minister to people to be set free. If you would have told me I would have laughed because I was in my own little bubble, I barely liked to even interact with people, I was so shy. I thought “hey as long as I am in right standing with God, I accepted salvation so all is well, it doesn't matter about anybody else.” I was being selfish and comfortable, but God took me out of my comfort zone and continues to do so for His glory. Being saved is not only about us, it’s about spreading the light of Jesus around the world.

But you can’t spread the light if you’re filled with darkness. Stop doing what the world does. You can live pure, you can respect your body and wait until you are married God’s way to have sex and you can live saved. I haven’t experienced so much peace in my life until I started to get serious about my walk in Jesus. God is so good. He has done so much for me and I am excited to share as I continue to do my blog. I hope it can help someone else to be different and be bold for God. God wants your whole heart. You CAN do this!



Where is the Love?

Lately I have been hearing others talk about how evil the world is and how people are getting crazier by the dozen. They ask why is this happening, why is God allowing all of these bad things to happen, where is the compassion, where is the love?

Well I can tell you where the love is, it went right where they told it too go when they so eagerly escorted it out of the schools and out of the ethic systems. People want love, but do they know what it is? God is love(1 John 4:8) and it seems like the world wants nothing to do with Him, but then when something crazy happens like a mass murder, they dare to blame God for it. You can't ask for love when you don't want to accept the essence or substance of the very thing.

Our society extremely lacks any kind of morals or convictions. It's a "do what you want" kind of mentality. People are free to do and behave however they want because it's just another part of who they are right? We can express ourselves any kind of way, but as long as it doesn't disagree with what others do. Don't get me started about being "politically correct." Either you agree with everything the world does or get attacked for thinking other wise.

When you take God out of anything all hell will break loose. We need to pray for the world like never before. There are so many broken people, people who don't know who they are because there is no set of right and wrong anymore. Anything goes. So while they are trying to find themselves through alcohol  drugs and unwise choices they are killing themselves and each other due to lack of guidance. You can't even go to places anymore that were once considered somewhat safe due to the uncontrollable violence going on in the world today.

The Bible says love comes from God, so in order for us to experience this love we must accept that His ways are always right and true. And we must also LIVE OUT those ways.

1 John 4:16 God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgement: In this world we are like Jesus.

So in this crazy world if we continue to live the way God wants us to and live in love we can have confident on judgement day. We must remain like Jesus always and stand apart from the ways of this wicked world. Jesus never was swayed by the systems of this world, he always was obedient to the Father. Jesus never followed the trend, He set the trend. So even when the world might say a wrong way is right, we should know that God's Word is always set and stone, point blank. 

Don't let anyone deceive you. And even when the world around you might be going crazy and chaotic you can always find peace in God by humbling yourself and letting Him have His way in your life.



To Begin Anew

Since it’s the start of 2013 and this my very first blog post (yay!) I thought it would be fitting to write about new beginnings. This year should bring you something new that the previous year didn't  Stagnation is a harmful poison that if not cured can stunt your growth and if something’s not growing then it’s dying. Stagnation prevents someone from going forth to their destiny in God. If you want what God has for you then you have to start somewhere. An action is required to bring about a result. Jesus didn't just teach salvation he is our salvation. You have to begin working the purpose that God has placed inside of you. How do you do that? Well for starters you have to seek God for what He wants you to do. Then you have to plant that new seed into good soil. If you are not starting your foundation on the Lord then it will not be producing any good fruit. You have to work this thing out and base it on Jesus.

Proverbs 16:3 Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established

Get rid of anything that is preventing you from starting anew. Many times we are stuck in the same spot because we have comfort zones that we don’t want to get out of. In order to break comfortability you have to get in the habit of being uncomfortable sometimes. With any new thing or change it’s going to bring forth challenges because it’s something completely different to you. But those pains are only because you’re breaking through walls to get to the other side of your destiny, so keep breaking! Don’t let it stop you. Once you see it through to the other side the feeling of success and liberation will be well worth it.

When starting anew, you must start from scratch and create long term goals and short term goals. Short term goals are good because it will keep you in the habit of the "winning mindset" after successfully completing each one. When you set goals for your new journey have purpose behind them. Get rid of what is not beneficiary to you. Don’t be afraid to let go of some people. You can’t start anew if you keep attaching yourself to the old. If a friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, or anyone else is not supporting your vision then get rid of them. That’s just how it has to be sometimes. If you don’t then they will continue to drain you and be a hindrance to your growth. That’s why Jesus said to the crowd who was following him in Luke 14:27 that if they could not deny themselves and carry their cross then they could not be his disciple, you don’t have time for the extra baggage. You have to walk together with people who are going to help aid the process.

Get rid of the junk in your life that is keeping you from God because without God as the driver then pretty soon your car is going to break down. Let God take the wheel. God knows exactly where He wants you to go and what He wants you to do, so don’t you think He would be the best person for the job leading you on this new beginning? Without God it will be impossible to achieve what you were created for because He is the one who created you to do it. Either that or you will be an agent for the enemy.

You also have to think positive and know that with God’s grace you’re capable of more than what you think you are but it requires getting rid of defective systems. If the system that you are using now isn't working then why continue to use it? You keep choosing the same men over and over expecting different results, but you’re using the same formula. Break out of the failed ideology that has been keeping you stuck in the same rut.

If you say you want to write then write, if you say you want a good man then start choosing men and not boys. Choose men who will respect you, not just a hit it and quit it guy, but someone who will actually wait for you until marriage day. If you say you want to do better than do better. All the choices in life are up to you. You have the power to either accept the perfect will of God over your life or reject it (I would prefer the first part.) But that means getting in complete alignment with God and that means whatever God says get rid of, get rid of it!

Every day should be a new beginning; you should be constantly reminding yourself of your visions and dreams so you can soon achieve them one day. Even when that happens don’t stop. Continue to create new ones.

I’m excited to be starting a new beginning with this blog. I hope I can encourage someone through my testimonies I will be sharing and my life experiences as I follow Christ. And as this awesome journey continues may we connect with one another, love on one another and grow with one another.

So start afresh and tell yourself that you will never be the same and you’ll be one step closer to where you need to be.


Back to Top