Why Waiting Until Marriage Should be the Norm

Recently I came across an article about a Christian artist who I listen to quite frequently on the JoyFM radio station. Colton Dixon, an alum from American Idol, gave his testimony about how he and his wife remained abstinent up until their wedding day and how they are both very glad that they did. He gives his testimony to People magazine here.

It didn't take too long after him sharing his story for the negative comments to come flowing in on various message boards. We live in a highly sexual driven society, who also doesn't care one bit about God's standards or morals. It got me to thinking how sad it is that in today's society people actually think it's crazy or bizarre for a person to decide to stay a virgin until they get married. Not only is it backed up by God's Word,  but there are so many benefits in general of keeping yourself pure until the special day you get to say "I do" to your other half. I believe it's the best gift you can give to your spouse, by letting them know you waited just for them, for them to have one of the most intimate parts of you and for them only.

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Dancing through the Storm

In life there's always going to be sunshine, but along with the sunshine there may come a little rain. Such is true with our journey and walk with God. Sometimes things can seem like they are going so perfect, that we finally have a hang of this walk with God, but then suddenly a storm comes and then we have to figure out how to get through it.

This year has not been the easiest for me, in fact it's been the year that I've been learning the most about God, myself and life. Sometimes learning experiences aren't fun, but they do produce results that can have everlasting benefits for your entire life. So through the storm remember to learn what it is that God wants you to take away from it. Storms look rough when you're going through them, but at the end of the storm is a beautiful sunny day.

With anything in life growth comes with growing pains. It's important through storms to stick close to God more than ever because He's our navigation through it. Get around people who will hold you accountable through the storm and won't throw you a pity party. Pity parties are the worst and are only an aid to continue in misery and play the blame game, I know because I was recently going through one of them. Instead of doing the blame game learn ways that you can make your situation better. Know in your storm that this is not the end game, your storm is preparing you for something greater, but first you have to get pruned and refined.

It's important to don't give up and know that storms don't last always, we all have our different seasons in life. The Bible tells us that there are many seasons in an individuals life.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: - Ecclesiastes 3:1

Sometimes it's up to us with how long we'll last in the storm,or how long it will take us to learn the lesson God places us through the storm for. Some storms we can bring on upon our self. Whatever the reason it's important to seek God even more so He can strengthen us to overcome.

With these previous storms in my life, I've learned to be content with where I am in life at the moment, although it's not where I WANT to be, it's where God has me for right now. Being thankful for each breath God blesses me with has given me a better perspective on things. It's always important to be thankful to our Creator. He knows us more than we know our self, and He does all things for a reason. Trust that He loves His children and He's leading us to still waters. Even if we may make a mistake while going through the storm, He's a faithful God and He'll stick with us if we continue to lean on Him.

Keep the faith, the main thing the enemy wants us to do in a storm is to doubt God. But we have to keep our eyes on Jesus unless we'll sink like Peter did.

Life's Storms can produce the most beautiful results if we learn to grow from them.


                                                     Love and happiness, 

                                                            ♥Shaniqua

Celebrating my love's bday last weekend!

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How to Pray

When I used to teach Bible Study for middle and high school students a common question came up when it referred to prayer. Many didn't know how to pray or even what to pray about. What is prayer? Simply put prayer is us having a conversation with God. Prayer is us going to God and just pouring out everything to him, our hopes, our desires, our praises to Him, our thanksgiving and it’s also God speaking back to us. Even if it’s the smallest thing we can go to God and tell Him about it. In fact God desires for us to have communication with Him, He wants to have a relationship with us where we can know Him and become more like Him.

Just like a relationship with friends, families or a spouse. The more time we spend with someone the more we pick up some of their traits, that’s why it’s important to hang around the right flock of people. Have you ever heard the saying “birds of a feather flock together?”  Such is true with our relationship with God. If we are not continually going to God in prayer to be recharged and filled with His Grace, then life will start to get overwhelming. We will start to get irritated and then our flesh will start to take over because we are not walking by the Spirit anymore.

We’re like a battery and God is the source that we must go to to be recharged again and again. This life will come with trails, but no trail is hard enough for God. With every obstacle we face if we go to God we will be sure to be set on the right path.

Regarding prayer there are a few important things we must know about it from Scripture.

We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly person who does his will. John 9:31

The LORD is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous. Proverbs 15:39

So according to these verses we must be believers in order for God to hear our prayers. That doesn't mean that a sinner who sincerely repents to become saved won’t be heard, but what this does mean is that in order for our prayers to hold any merit or power, we have to be living for God and in His will. We can’t be willfully living in sin and expect God to bless our mess, it doesn't work that way with God.

I will punish the world for its evil, the wicked for their sins. I will put an end to the arrogance of the haughty and will humble the pride of the ruthless. Isaiah 13:11

For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. Romans 8:13

Also when we pray to God it’s important for us to be honest to Him. Though we shouldn't always come to God complaining about everything we should also be able to go to Him with our concerns. God tells us to cast our burdens to Him (1 Peter 5:7).

I find when I’m overwhelmed after going to God I leave with a peace that surpasses all understanding, but it’s important to stay consistent with our prayer to God because we don’t want to be up and down with our emotions. We need to learn how to continually be in that perfect peace and that takes a daily relationship with God and also constant obedience to Him as well.

When we pray we need to also remember to give God thanks.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

So when it comes to prayer we can see that God does have some requirements for certain promises in the Bible that He’s made.

We must be in His will, and we should regularly be praying. It’s also a good idea to set aside a quiet time daily with God, whether it be 30 minutes to an hour. Jesus was always in communication with the Father, and it was one of the reasons why Jesus was able to complete the mission he was assigned to do on the earth realm. It takes God for us to be effective in our lives. So go to Him when life seems overwhelming because God has the perfect road map to the destination He desires for us to take. You can do this!

God’s grace is limitless,

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What Are You Doing With Your Time?

It’s 2015 and I decided that it would be a great opportunity for me to reflect on areas in my life that need to be perfected by God. If I’m honest with myself the greatest area I struggle in is self-discipline, in particular self-discipline with spending the time God has given me the best way possible.

When it comes to everyday plans and activities I admit I can choose laziness vs. hard work quite often. It’s not something that I’m proud about and I believe this has caused me to miss out on many opportunities that God has for me. For example I published my first novel “Leaving Jade” in May of 2014. By now I was hoping to have novel #2 already available, but due to my lack of disciplining and managing of my time book #2 has been delayed. Lack of self-discipline has also caused me to put on hold other goals that I have set out to achieve, but as I write this post I am declaring that “it’s no more!” It’s no more of me wasting time and putting off what I know God has called me to achieve.

As I pondered this subject, dealing with what I’m doing with my time the Lord lead me to some very convicting yet encouraging scriptures to get me on my way to a more disciplined lifestyle.

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. – KJV, Luke 9:23

The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat. –KJV, Proverbs 13:4

Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall suffer hunger. – KJV, Proverbs 19:15

So as I read and studied God’s Word I’m reminded that my life is not my own. When I may want to lay on the couch for a brief rest or search the internet, I should stop and be more focused on the things God desires for me to do that day. I’m not saying that it’s not OK to have a rest once in a while, but first we need to be concerned with the responsibilities we have and get those successfully completed first.

Instead of putting things off, it’s time to get those things accomplished now. It will certainly pay off in the long run. If we desire a certain goal we must put action with our faith. We can’t accomplish anything by doing nothing.

My goal for my entire life, not just a year, is to remain focused on God’s plans for me and not my own plans. In order for us to attain what God has for us we have to show ourselves as good stewards, not just by being a good Christian, but also good stewards over our precious time on this earth that God has blessed us with. Before God blesses us with more He wants to be sure we can handle the little that we have. It’s time for me to stop just saying and start doing!

In future post I will be giving practical tips and documenting my own journey to a self-disciplined life. I know it’s possible because God has already freed me from so much! I’m praying that you all have a great new year’s. Be blessed and know that whatever your goals or visions God can see you through it, as long as we obey and put forth the work as well.

Love and happiness, 

♥Shaniqua

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The Power of a Kiss

We've all seen it in the movies, the true love’s kiss, able to transform slimy grotesque frogs into charming handsome prince; they can wake princesses from deep sleeps and give them back their angelic voice.
   

Yeah they might be going on a stretch, but even movies are able to realize the beauty and power that comes along with a kiss from the person you truly love. They might not turn a frog into a prince, but kisses can evoke passion and emotion along with a lot of other things.

In this blog I am going to share with you on why my husband and I decided to stop kissing until we got married. As I stated in Our Not So Ordinary Courting Story we did start off kissing because we weren't saved when we first got together, but when we started getting serious with our walk with Christ my now husband came to me and told me that God laid it on his heart that we should stop kissing until we were married.

At first I didn't understand this. I am really an affectionate and romantic person. I thought since we were “just kissing” that it would be OK and by this time it was just mini pecks. I thought since I had learned how to stop lusting after him that it was all good and dandy, but in the back of my mind part of me still wanted more and to go deeper with our kisses. 

So after thinking it over some more I understood.  For starters kissing is a precursor to sex. What do people do before having sex? Yeah you guessed it right, kiss. So in order for you to remove all temptations it’s wise to get rid of that which leads to it. Why would you continually flirt with temptation when you are trying to fight it off? The Bible says lead us not into temptation. Why would we pray to God not to lead us into temptation, but we are leading our own selves to it?

It wasn't easy at first not kissing my husband, but just because something isn't easy doesn't mean you have to give in. The harder something is the more rewarding the results, and I can honestly say that I am so happy that we did stop. It really gave us the opportunity to grow more as a couple without all the physical stuff. We learned to talk things out because instead of “making up” through kissing we had to dig deeper for the root of our problems so that we could prevent future arguments. A peaceful home is a happy home. Doing things Gods way is the only way if you label yourself the title of a Christian, and when you do things His way the fruit will be there. I definitely see the fruit in our marriage with the decision of no kissing and no sex before marriage.

Kissing is really a deep and passionate gesture to the person that you love. Kisses shouldn't be handed out freely to a person you don’t even plan on marrying, and even if you do plan on marrying let them wait for it. The kisses will be that much more pleasurable within the marriage because you know how long you waited and anticipated for it. I still get butterflies brushing lips with my husband. Still amazes me that I get to kiss him anytime that I want now!

I am not saying this is a mandate for everyone, you should definitely go to God about it. But I believe it’s time that our society looks at things like this seriously and stop acting like it’s just a kiss. It’s not just a kiss. It really goes deeper than that. It shows that you want to connect yourself to this person, and that you desire them. kissing just like sex should be a reflection of your love for the person, not just because it’s "fun" and everyone else is doing it. Be different and regard yourself with high esteem. If someone just wants you for what they can do with you then it’s not love, its lust. It’s an amazing feeling when you are blessed with a person who loves you for you, who just enjoys spending time with you and talking with you. Khalid showed me what a real prince and gentlemen was like when he told me he wanted to wait for me.

So I encourage you to wait for your prince or princess. But wait until the wedding day to see them transform with a sweet kiss. You can do this!

                                                     Love and happiness, 

                                                            ♥Shaniqua

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Walk by Faith

So lately I have been dreading going to work. No surprise there, if you read my recent post about God Cultivating Me, you'd see why. I am not a morning person and having to get up to a place I don't want to be is just miserable, but what I have learned through the process is to be grateful where I'm at. To praise God for the little blessings because the big one's will come.

Despite that I have been feeling a tug at my heart to just walk by faith. What I mean by this is, I am seriously thinking about quitting my day job soon. Why be stuck at a place where you lack the passion? To be honest I am only there for the pay. There are so many other passions and talents God gave me, why not use them for His glory? 

I tried to play it safe and wait until I make another stream of income from other arenas, at least enough to pay the bills right? But I feel more and more led to put in my two weeks notice and just trust God to be my provider. Abraham walked by faith and left everything he knew because He trusted God. God never fails to provide for His children. 

I am at an exciting, yet busy stage of my life. It's challenging yet rewarding. My husband and I have recently  been placed as Youth Directors at our church. The youth is our passion. God already told me this before it was going to happen where He was taking us and calling us to do. I desire to see young people set on fire for God and stop following the pressures of the world. Right now I actually teach middle and high at Sunday School. I love being able to impart knowledge and wisdom into them. 

So I would love to do more with ministry, but right now my job is taking the majority of my time. So I am deciding to walk by faith. Of course first I will listen to the voice of the Lord because faith comes by hearing. And God always directs. When you trust God He will always work it out. You Can do this!

God's Grace is Limitless,

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Taking Leaps of Faith

Lately I have been taking really big leaps of faith and believing God to do what He says He is going to do through my life.

In life there are many choices one must make and many of them permanent so it’s important to look at the consequences and longevity of our actions.  At the same time we must learn how to trust God and not over think things. Sometimes God can be telling us to go a certain route, but we are too busy looking at all of the negatives and “what if’s” then we second guess if it was God who really told us to do that in the first place. The enemy likes to replace God’s voice and direction with fear and worry. The main reason why fear cannot operate with faith is because it holds us back from the doing the will that God has placed over our lives. Fear can literally paralyze a person from living the life God called them to live because they become too busy questioning if they can really succeed. Learn to trust in God. Yes you can succeed! Yes you can do it! Through Christ all things are possible; it just takes making that first move.

Faith without works is dead. James 2:17.

Trusting in God means relying on His direction and knowing that He has your best interest and it means going with His ways. I encourage you to trust Him. You might not know or understand how you will be able to achieve your dreams, but God is faithful, He already has it planned out and He will order your steps if you just follow Him. Our source comes from Him. He will give you the tools necessary to fulfill your desires. Take that leap of faith. Be motivated and know that you can achieve all things through Christ. Don’t just chase after you dreams grab a hold of them and achieve them. You CAN this!

Love and happiness, 


♥Shaniqua

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